I don't know about you, but I love church camp. I fell in love with camp the first and only time I was a camper. I was 18. I have served as a camp counselor almost every summer since. I remember one summer a man named Mike Basket (some of you may know him) came on the scene. Mike is an awesome guy. Every morning during our stretches, with great enthusiasm, he'd have campers and staff say the following: I know.....that I can choose the way I feel....And today......I choose to feel GOOD! This came a lot easier when you had someone as energetic as Mike encouraging you along the way. But most of us don't have a Mike Basket with us every morning to coach us. Choosing to feel good is a lot easier said than done.
Depression has haunted mankind since the beginning of time. When I think of depression, the image that comes to mind is that of the Smoke Monster from ABC's hit series Lost (you know I had to work in Lost into this conversation....this is the final season). For those of you who aren't fans, I'll describe it this way. Depression acts like a black cloud seeking it's next victim. No matter how much of us it devours, it is never quite satisfied. It is a subtle evil, constantly in pursuit of its next victim; and if we are not careful it will eat us alive.
Depression is all around us, especially in these tough economic times. And yes, depression is even in the Church. Many people believe that if you are a Christian then you won't experience depression. This is a myth. If fact, this mentality is often the food that fuels the flame of depression. In other words, when people allude to the idea that "if one had the right kind of relationship with God then they wouldn't be depressed" they are not being there for their brethern in the ways they need to be. In fact, they just communicated that they cannot be relied upon, which is one less person the depressed person can depend on for support. Here are a few suggestions for helping someone deal with depression:
1. Do a self-assessment. Ask yourself if you are strong enough to help bear this burden (Gal. 6:2). If you are dealing with a lot in your own life and/or with your family, then you might not be the one that this person needs. If not, then you best move is to connect them with a person or persons that can be the burden-bearer. If you decide you can be this person, move on to suggestion #2.
2. Get into their world. Jesus was awesome at this. We read in John 11:35 that "Jesus wept." When he did this, he provided Mary and Martha exactly what they needed from him as they were grieving the loss of their brother. So, when you get into someone's world, you have to....
3. Put aside your own anxiety and fears. Your feelings of helplessness will tempt you to want to solve the problem. This makes their depression about you and you communicate to them you can't handle it. But if you listen to their story and you hurt with them, you'll find that there is lots of therapy in that kind of behavior. You'll also find that most people have good reason to feel depressed, just as Job did in Job 2. Job even resorted to self-injury as he sat in the ash scraping off his sores. When we read the story of Job, most of us understand his depression. This is easy for us because we are not emotionally connected to Job. It is a lot harder to do when we are emotionally connected to someone and we see them hurting.
4. Determine your role. What role does this person need you to play as part of their support system?
5. Set boundaries. Don't fall into the trap where you find yourself bearing the entire load (see Gal. 6:5)
6. Be prepared to suggest professional help (see previous discussion topic for more information on this).
I hope these suggestions are helpful. Remember to be prayerful throughout this process because it can be easy to justify not helping someone when we are perfectly of capable. I am interested in your thoughts and experiences when it comes to dealing with depression in the church. I'd be happy to entertain any questions that you may have. God bless.
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I've concluded that >>> Some people have high blood pressure, or high cholesterol, or diabetes, or heart disease, etc etc etc. I don't have any of these; I have chronic depression. To me, it's a health issue that I take medication for, the same as any other health issue that "maintenance" medicines are made for. I don't feel sorry for myself and I don't feel slighted because I was dealt this Monster. I have learned to recognize it when it shows it's ugly head, deal with it, and go forward. (This includes fighting for your right to feel good. Sometimes you win, sometimes IT wins.) Depression has nothing to do with your relationship with God; it's like saying "If that person had a better relationship with God, they wouldn't have cancer." or "If they had a better relationship with God, they wouldn't have heart disease". But it has everything to do with God when you know in your heart that God loves you dearly, and that you're not alone; it helps immensely when you talk to Him, telling Him how you feel, and that you need a "hug". I think every Christian can understand how this feels, and knows the power of God's presence.
Sometimes a person having been diagnosed with depression is the best therapy for a depressed person; they know the symptoms and can definitely empathize, because they've been there. Their role should be understanding and supportive as well as prayerful. It's important to emphasize the comfort that God can give them in knowing that they are not alone. I can tell from experience (many years and trials and tribulations of this stuff!) when it's time for them to seek professional help. In today's world with depression being so rampant, there are countless people authorized to counsel depressed individuals. I think I would draw the line, though, if they refused to get professional help after a while.....................
Joshua, this was a very helpful article. Thank you for sharing from your expertise. I also appreciated Zonda's reply and insight. This week we are wading through the second anniversary of the death of our 18 year old son. For a time I saw a counselor, which I thought was helpful. I have been on and off of medication. Sometimes I think I should not be "off". But anyhow... depressing moments do come and go...sometimes very unexpectedly. Sometimes sadness comes about by the most unexpected things... a song...a smell... seeing two young people about my son's age enjoying life. And then again, not always even with these same things. Pain of the heart is very fluid. And to your point ... I find myself talking with other parents who have lost children. It is something I am willing to walk through with them. I'm not sure at two years out that i am strong enough to bear this burden for and with others. Sometimes I think I am... other times I'm not. Well that response kind of wandered all over the place...but I did see several things to consider there in each of those points. I look forward to reading more.
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