Pre-Marital Counseling and Evangelistic Bible Studies

[James Nored]

Pre-marital counseling sessions with people from the community/non-Christians can lead to opportunities for evangelistic Bible studies. This discussion gives an opportunity to share stories, ideas, and resources for using pre-marital counseling sessions to set up these studies.

[James Nored]

I have performed two weddings since coming to High Pointe. Both of these weddings were of people from the community who came in with no real previous connection to the church. The first couple was Tony Ojeda and Dorinna Perez. Tony and Dorinna had both been rejected by various churches that they had approach on being married. This seemed strange to me. Neither had been married before. They both had a nominal church background (Baptist for him, Catholic for her).

I married Tony and Dorinna, and we had a Bible study set up afterwards. They had to cancel the first session, and I need to follow-up with this. There may still be an opportunity here. Dorinna also works with someone who she knows that attends our church. Please pray that this study happens1

[James Nored]

I normally do 4 sessions or so in pre-marital counseling. What we have looked at in these sessions has varied over the years. Right now, here is what I go through with couples, in various ways, are:
1. Strengths Finder Survey- I spend a session going through the Strengths Finder tool, which helps couples understand one another and work together.

2. His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley.

3. Financial Plan/Budgeting - This is really needed for younger people who marry. I've used some worksheets by Dave Ramsey on this

4. Biblical Teaching on Marriage. This includes:
- Genesis 1-2 and Matthew 19 on God's design for marriage (lifelong covenant, partnership)
- Ephesians 4:25-32 - I have found that Paul's teachings on relationships in general have great application for marriages, such as being honest, forgiving one another, not staying angry, not saying things that tear down, but only building up
- Ephesians 5:21-32 - Love and Submission in Marriage
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 - Paul's teachings on love

In the biblical teaching, I encourage the couple to understand that as they draw closer to God and Christ, they will draw closer to one another. By spending this time with them, building trust, and serving them by helping them with matters that are not overtly religious or evangelistic, this often opens them up to evangelistic Bible studies. I try to get a commitment towards this before the wedding ceremony, with a hard date. However, if they are not ready for this or are not interested, I just try to show them love and serve them however I can.

[James Nored]

The second wedding I have performed since coming to High Pointe was last Saturday, the wedding of James Ward and Marie Hittle. James seems not really to have attended anywhere. Marie's mother is an active Methodist, but again, Marie does not attend anywhere.

When going through Eph. 5 with them, looking at Christ as the model for marriage, I emphasized how growing together spiritually would help their relationship. I asked them how they could continue to grow after the wedding, and they indicated worshipping together and continuing to study together with me.

Because of schedules, we were not able to go through the His Needs, Her Needs material before the wedding. So I offered to go through this with them, along with continued Bible study, after the wedding. They agreed to this, and we are supposed to begin study in a couple of weeks, going through the Story of Redemption. Again, getting that firm date prior to the wedding ceremony is really important in this.

Please be praying for me in these study!