The Importance of Greeting, Being Non-judgmental, and Letting the Word Speak

[Lynn S. Nored]

My wife are I do "greeting" as natural gifts. No one has "assigned us to greet.  But, we both get to the building early, pass out the bulletin, and welcome those that come.  Between class and worship I usually go around the auditorium and speak to as many as possible.  My wife is great at talking to visitors and getting to know them.

Recently we had a couple visit 5 different times.  James, the minister,  had sent a letter with a personal message about a class for "newcomers".  But, this couple had a lot of questions and didn't want to wait for a special class.  Martha had visited with them on 3 separate occasions.  As a result they asked us if they could ask us some of their questions.  We, accordingly, invited them for dinner that Sunday night.  Both had very different backgrounds: one church of Christ and one Catholic.  But, in the latter case, no personal knowledge of the bible itself other that what the priest had taught.  

It was very important for both that they did not wish a "sales job"--having had that experience from some groups in town. Nor did they wish someone in a church to tell them  unless you do x, y, and z you are not acceptable to God and are going to Hell.  They initially wished to know what "our church" taught --not in specifics yet but in general. 

We explained how we took the bible as our only guide; that every individual was capable of reading and understanding the bible for himself; that we did not have a hierarchy that dictated what each one should believe; that every person was responsible for responding to God as the bible indicated.  This, resulted in their wishing to know more.  So, as a result we scheduled a time for bible study and discussion every week ( with a meal as well).   The first one was today. 

Conclusions I have from the above: 1) If individuals are seeking and do come to the church building, then how they are greeted and interacted with will in large part determine any further interest.  2) It is presumptious for any of us to "speak for God" as if we "know" everything about responding to Him.  We need to let the Word speak to the person, let them be guided by the spirit, and let them make up their own mind.  The Word is the Teacher; We should be the illustration.  I personally believe any other approach where we claim to "know the truth" and all the truth is very arrogant. 

More later.

[James Nored]

Dad, you and mom are so good at greeting people and making them feel welcome. Thank you! This is such an important ministry. If people get up the courage and interest to go and visit a church, we should seek to make them feel welcome.

A non-judgmental attitude is essential in studying with people. The word and God's Spirit convicts people. They will be most convinced by an authentic life.

I have two questions. First, how can a large church best make visitors feel welcome? Many members do not know who are visitors and who are members.

Second, you place a great emphasis upon individual right of interpretation. What role does the community play in interpretation? Would we have the emphasis upon the individual without the printing press, which made the Bible available to everyone?

Thanks for studying with this couple!

[Lynn S. Nored]

James,

I wish to address the second question first. Community is important in interpretation. For example, the husband indicated an answer to this in stating (paraphrasing): the interaction of questions and answers on the text ( i.e dialogue) helps a person to properly understand the meaning of the text---without negating the responsibility of the individual for thinking and making decisions for himself about the meaning and application of the text. On the other a "community" can restrict and constrain "truth" by the imposition of the particular community thinking and behavior on individuals within the group. A little reflection will quickly bring to mind anecdotal accounts where this is true. E.g the National Geographic has an article on the Fundamental Later Day Saints ("Polygamy in America" NG, Feb. 2010)--the same one where children were taken in Texas. Clearly community "truths" were imposed. And, as you know some postmodern philosophy indicates "truth" is only what the community decides. So....... community is important in "discovering" truth, but has real danger that the individual will abrogate his own reason and responsibility.

As far as the first question goes, no fixed formula is available. This question's answer is probably similar to the one that asks "how can a large church become missional?" Or "how can one convert conventional bible class attitudes to one where a church has a goal of spiritual formation for every member?" Some top of the head observations are as follows:

1) Members must wish to welcome and be friendly to visitors 2) In order to have this attitude members must realize that this is part of "loving your neighbor as yourself". 3) But all members do not have the spiritual gift to be effective at this with "strangers" -- members or not 4) The gifted members need to identified and empowered 5) In a large building some organization is necessary if you are really going to "meet" and greet" visitors. 6) Even if organized, it will break down without accountability and replacement if "it's not happening 7) Organized efforts are fine, BUT without all members recognizing and internalizing that this attribute is one that the congregation has as a necessary and desirable Christian attribute, in all likelihood the congregation will not be perceived as friendly. This brings me back to my point about being a missional congregation and spiritual formation. Welcoming visitors is part and parcel of being missional in intent and forming the spiritual character of each member--though some will be more gifted in this area than others.

[Chris Walker]

Here is my take in terms of process thinking:

Visitor has experienced your worship service. Presumably, there was some kind hospitality ministry that removed unnecessary barriers of discomfort.

They want to know more.

They've taken the initiative to connect and learn more about the church. In this particular visitors case, they have visited several, so they are immediately making comparisons and contrasts with their prior experiences, mentally, if not verbally.

Finding what they like, and finding what they may not like.

I think Lynn expressed wisdom in how he approached this couple by pointing to Scriptures as the source of authority and giving this couple room to think / interact / respond. I read a hint of tenderness in realizing what this couple didn't need to hear again and a hint of compassion in giving this couple liberty to decide.

From what is recorded about their fears, it appears the other places wanted them to BELIEVE correctly before BELONGING. What I hear in Lynn's comments is a permission to BELONG and discover belief along the way. This ties into James' observation about giving people room to see an authentic life.

Ultimately, welcoming visitors is part of a church's calling. That vision needs to be kept up, enflamed, and valued on a regular basis. When people come to a church for the first time, they are consumers, no matter what one feels about that word in church talk. Churches can devise some systems to help do that (like train greeters and organize friendliness), but there is a non-tangible spiritual element that can't be managed through processes.

Chris Walker
http://www.WelcomeChurchVisitors.com
http://www.EvangelismCoach.org

[Teresa Riley]

Thanks Martha & Lynn. Ya"ll are the best.

[Lynn S. Nored]

Chris,

Your last paragraph is correct. Welcoming should be done because of who we are not because of a formal ministry (though in large congregations, this certainly assists this process). In this case there was no formal "hospitality ministry". We greet because we are interested in people, not because we have a "job" to do.
Chris Walker said:

Here is my take in terms of process thinking:

Visitor has experienced your worship service. Presumably, there was some kind hospitality ministry that removed unnecessary barriers of discomfort.

They want to know more.

They've taken the initiative to connect and learn more about the church. In this particular visitors case, they have visited several, so they are immediately making comparisons and contrasts with their prior experiences, mentally, if not verbally.

Finding what they like, and finding what they may not like.

I think Lynn expressed wisdom in how he approached this couple by pointing to Scriptures as the source of authority and giving this couple room to think / interact / respond. I read a hint of tenderness in realizing what this couple didn't need to hear again and a hint of compassion in giving this couple liberty to decide.

From what is recorded about their fears, it appears the other places wanted them to BELIEVE correctly before BELONGING. What I hear in Lynn's comments is a permission to BELONG and discover belief along the way. This ties into James' observation about giving people room to see an authentic life.

Ultimately, welcoming visitors is part of a church's calling. That vision needs to be kept up, enflamed, and valued on a regular basis. When people come to a church for the first time, they are consumers, no matter what one feels about that word in church talk. Churches can devise some systems to help do that (like train greeters and organize friendliness), but there is a non-tangible spiritual element that can't be managed through processes.

Chris Walker
http://www.WelcomeChurchVisitors.com
http://www.EvangelismCoach.org

[John Dobbs]

I think these are excellent observations. We have recently ramped up our greeters ministry (we do have assigned people - but they are friendly by nature). If a seeker can't find a warm incubator of faith in the church, then what a disaster.God bless you as you work with these good people!

[James Nored]

This family now has 10 people from the community/Melissa lined up to study the Story of Redemption!