Newsweek posted
an article on breaking up in the texting and Facebook era, based upon a new book,
The Breakup 2.0: Disconnecting Over New Media. I have been married now for 15 years, so I have not experienced dating or breaking up in this new era. In this study of breaking up, people most complained about being dumped by text or Facebook, rather than face-to-face. Something that I did not realize--when a person breaks off the relationship on Facebook, Facebook then automatically shows the dumped party as being broken up and no longer in a relationship. So, you do not even get the opportunity to tell people on your own timing and place about the breakup, let alone know that it is coming.
I don't know why it is exactly, but we perceive that breakups that are not in person are cruel. Perhaps it is because after time is invested in a relationship, to not breakup in person tells the person that you really don't give a rip about them. Sure, if you break up with someone, you are telling them you don't want to date. But there is a difference between not wanting to date and not caring at all about someone.
I hate getting bad or frustrating news by email. In fact, I often dread checking my email because of this reason. I'm glad that, so far, I can still safely check my Facebook accounts without dread. (I'm not worried about Becki "breaking up" with me either by Facebook or in person.)
This story caused me to wonder--what are the implications of this story for us as Christians
? Carrie Underwood, known for her Christian values, made the news and blogs by
breaking up with her boyfriend by text. Ryan Bolger is teaching a class on "The Church in the Age of Facebook" at Fuller Theological Seminary that I will be interested in taking.
Should we be teaching our kids and young adults a better way to not only breakup but engage in relationships? Should we teach them that we should only give bad news in person out of human love and decency? What other lessons or opportunities come to mind for the church from this story?
