Two deaths in the span of just under four months has shaped my life into complete chaos. However, out of that chaos has come a true faith in the Lord and the ultimate belief that He really does have a plan, althought He is keeping it hidden under lock and key.

In June 2008, I boarded a 777 and flew for 20 hours to Guangzhou, China to begin the mission of sharing the Gospel through teaching English to the locals. While I was in the air, my father was having a massive heart attack and passing on to meet the Lord. He was merely 62 years old. So, pretty much as soon as the plane hit the ground, I was making plans to reboard only 33 hours later to take that long trek back home.

That is when it all started.

That is when I felt the Lord, our God, transforming my soul and spirit. Having so many people, friends and stangers, reaching out to me helped me comprehend the true compassion that Jesus meant for us to have toward one another.

Not, four months later, on Novemember 7, my baby brother met his death. He suffered a brain hemmorhage and died instantly and alone. He was barely 30 years of age.

That is when it hit me again.

My bro, was baptized but not faithful. And as I struggle to understand how God will accept him on Judgement Day, I have also begun looking at the people around me differently. There are so many souls out there who have never even known His name. No one has ever uttered the name of Jesus in their presence. And I ask WHY?

So, as much as I am struggling through great grief of losing two very dear loved ones in such a short time, I am also wrestling with an idea that God has planted in my brain. I am not sure what to do with this idea, but maybe this website will help me work it all out.

Thanks for having me!

I am a teacher at heart (first graders), so Lord, teach me what you sent me here to learn.

Interested in learning more about me...visit my blog: katponder.blogspot.com