Do Fathers Really Matter in a Family??

[James Nored]

Fathers Are Important!

Sadly, our society has devalued the importance of fathers for a long time. At one time, one of the most popular shows on television was “Father Knows Best.” Can you imagine such a show today? Any show titled in this way would have to be an ironic, smirking view meant to show that fathers do not know much. Even I grew up with Alan Thicke as a reputable dad on Growing Pains, or Bill Cosby as the cool, always outsmarting his kids father on The Cosby Show. Today, fathers and husbands are invariably portrayed as clownish goofballs who do nothing.

If you look at the way courts treated divorce though the 1980s and 1990s, it seemed that it was always assumed that kids would do better with their mothers. Moms were viewed as dependable and nurturing, while fathers were often deemed as nothing more than a paycheck. If you were to go back a hundred years, however, most all of society would have said the worst thing to do was to grow up fatherless. Fatherless youths were deemed to be doomed to a worthless life without the name, discipline, and hard-working example that a father would give them.

Sociological research into the importance of fathers is a “new field” of research, but it is increasingly showing what we ought to have known all along--fathers are tremendously importnat. Dr. David Popenoe, a pioneer in this field research says, "Fathers are far more than just 'second adults' in the home . . . involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring." Fathers who are engaged and involved in their children’s lives tend to produce children who are better emotionally adjusted, have higher IQs, achieve more, do better in school and any number of factors. Even our government recognizes this. (See https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo...).

Of course, there really should not be a battle over who is more important to a child (father or mother).God intended children to have both fathers and mothers. And in an ideal world, every child would have both.

Unfortunately, we live in a broken world, and many children find themselves without a father or mother. Nonetheless, the strengths of both sexes are important for a child’s development. And in the church, both male and female role models and loving substitute parents can be found.

The world may devalue fathers. They may view them merely as a paycheck or comic relief. But God values fathers--and so do we. In fact, God’s primary metaphor for himself in the New Testament is that of a Father. In the Sermon on the Mount, one of the primary teaching passages of Jesus, we see Jesus speak of God as a good father--providing for his children, knowing them intimately, giving them good things, not evil, when they ask for them.

31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Fathers for all that you do--for your hard work, discipline, loving care, motivating force, teacher of God’s word, and godly example, we thank you. Happy Father's Day!

Why do you think our society undervalues fathers? How important are fathers in a family and in society?

[Chancellor C. Roberts II]

Well, according to Hillary Clinton's book, "It Takes A Village" to raise a child - and no men allowed. Since at least the 1990s, men are nothing more than sperm donors and financial supporters and are to be treated as such. They exist only to father children and to give their wives whatever they want. Men cannot nurture children and, should a man presume to want to be involved in the education of young children (e.g. in daycare centers or early elementary school) then it is to be assumed that these men are pedophiles and they must not be allowed anywhere near the children (I've personally heard teachers who are also parents say that they would refuse to have a man teaching their elementary school children and that if their children's school hired a man to teach, they would immediately seek that man's removal). So modern society has been shoving down our throats at every turn. And if a church teaches the biblical roles of husband and wife, that church is sexist and misogynist. Even in the American Church there's this perverse notion of "happy wife, happy life," as if the husband exists for the sole purpose of pleasing his wife and that the wife is sovereign over the household, that the husband is to obey his wife and that the wife doesn't have to submit to or even respect her husband. Do fathers really matter in a family? Not according to American society and not according to a lot of the American Church.