How can we help teens who struggle with homosexuality?

[James Nored]

Below is a news article from IPI, a policy think tank where my friend Bart Cleland works (whatever your politics, this article brings up some of the issues of concern.) As this article shows, the government "came out" for LGBT youth--lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered youth. CNN also posted an article this week on this coverage entitled, LGBT in School: 'I lost a lot of my friends'. 

 

I can remember someone in high school who was in the drama or music department writing anonymously a note backstage that said, "I am gay, and I want to commit suicide." I certainly don't want teenagers who struggle with homosexuality committing suicide, and I don't want them to be beat up or suffer any physical violence. But there is definitely a move by society, and apparently now, our government to normalize this behavior.

This should not surprise us. For the first time ever this year, a majority of Americans now support gay marriage. This is probably why the government is now going ahead with the LGBT summit. We are increasingly entering into a post-Christian America, where the laws that are passed no longer reflect Christian values, but post-Christian values. Of course, the early church lived in a time in which the government and 99.9% of society was thoroughly pagan. They were still able to flourish and reach millions of people for Christ without government support.

 

But back to the issue of youth and homosexuality. How can we help youth who struggle with this issue, showing them love and compassion, while still teaching them biblical truth on this issue?

(Here is the IPI article below.)

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Out of the Closet and Behind Closed Doors
Last week the U.S. Department of Education hosted what the White House billed as the “first-ever Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) youth summit.”  Presumably, it won’t be the last such taxpayer-funded event.

Health and Human Services (HHS) Administrator for Substance Abuse and Mental Services Pam Hyde proclaimed, “Your federal government has finally come out of the closet in support of LGBT youth.”

There is so much wrong with this it’s hard to know where to start.  If there are student drug abuse, bullying and safety concerns on campus—and there are—why would the government limit such a conference to the LGBT community?  Lots of kids are bullied or turn to drugs.

But it gets worse.  Penny Starr of CNSNews reported that media were excluded from some closed-door meetings.  That raises serious questions about what was being discussed on the taxpayers’ dime.
Liberals used to (falsely) complain that conservatives wanted the government in our bedrooms.  But closed-door meetings with a sexually oriented—and highly vulnerable—population raise the specter that it’s the liberals who are putting the government—and moral support—in the bedrooms.

In these very tight budget times, Congress might want to consider cutting the Department of Education’s conference funding.  Or better yet, pick up on a Ronald Reagan proposal and just eliminate the department.
*****Today's PolicyByte was written by IPI Resident Scholar Dr. Merrill Matthews.

[James Nored]

Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11: "9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a] 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (2011 NIV)

1 Corinthians 6:9a footnote - The words men who have sex with men translate two Greek words that refer to the passive and active participants in homosexual acts.

Both the biblical text and human experience must be grappled with here. Paul indicates that some had been active homosexuals, but that that was what they "were"--they are this no longer. They had been washed and cleansed and transformed.

I understand your point of view, Jay. But to say that we cannot control our behavior, or that because we have an impulse we must act on it, puts us on a very problematic path. What about the husband whose wife is paralyzed and she can no longer have sex? Is he then justified in committing adultery because he has a sexual impulse--even a sexual need? He has no outlet for his "orientation" in this situation, justifying behavior by impulse puts us down the path of making us slaves to our passions and little more than animals, does it not?

[Jay]

Mark, how can a person overcome their sexual orientation?  Could you overcome your sexual orientation as a person who is attracted to the opposite sex if, for some reason, you felt compelled to do that?  Of course not.  Neither can someone who is gay.  I know that there have been people who have appeared to have "overcome" being gay by deciding that they're now attacted to the opposite sex but in reality these people were probably just bisexual.  
Do you deny that there are some people who have the biological makeup that causes them to have a strong physical attraction to the same sex and no phyisical attraction to the opposite sex?  In other words, do you deny that some people are born gay?  And if they are born gay then how can you expect them to "overcome" this sexual orientation which they have no power over?

[Wendy Scott Cayless]

Jay, your comments are in line with my thinking.

[Jay]

How can we help teens who struggle with homosexuality, you ask?  We can help them by informing them that the god of the bible who instituted the death penalty for homosexuals in the Old Testament and has condemned them to eternal damnation does not exist and that they do not have to fear such madness.  I'm sure this would help them greatly by relieving the tremendous feeling of guilt and shame that the bible has placed upon them.

 
Human sexuality is way more complicated than the primitive writers of the bible understood.  Many people are most certainly born gay.  Some people are even born as hermaphrodites, having full or partially developed sex organs from both sexes.  If this person were born, let's say 60% male and 40% female, could you really criticize them for being confused about their sexuality?  Could you blame them if they decided they were mostly attracted to females at one point in their life but at a later point in their life they decide that they're attracted to males, or to both?  Who's to say that this person MUST be attracted to females-only because they're "mostly" male?  What if their hormones are mostly female?  

Likewise, if humans can be born as hermaphrodites, they can also be born homosexual.  A person, who might be 80% female and 20% male, might appear to be female, having female sex organs, but their sexual attraction may lie with the same sex because of their excess levels of testosterone or other biological factors, including genes, that cause them to be attracted to the same sex. 

So if we understand the well established scientific fact that some humans are born gay, bisexual, or as hermaphrodites, then how can we say that this is a sin?  If God created all of us then he also created those who are gay.  Why would he deliberately create someone as a gay person if being gay is a sin?

[Wendy Scott Cayless]

James, there is no easy answer and I am struggling with the whole issue.  My instinct tells me that character traits or human weaknesses like selfishness or propensity to lie are different to a sexual orientation which means one is attracted to the opposite gender.  What about transgender people?  Do they also just have to ignore the way God made them and repress their sexuality?

[James Nored]

Wendy, I'm up ridiculously late and you are in Australia, so we have been able to converse here on this. 

There is a lot of behavior that kids have that seems inherent, like being selfish or throwing fits or lying to avoid being in trouble. At some point, they gain a consciousness of sin, and these actions then become sinful. Why would homosexuality not fall into this type of category?

[Wendy Scott Cayless]

James, interesting that these kids naturally gravitate to what they are attracted to.  It isn't a conscious choice to sin (ie they don't deliberately CHOOSE a "gay lifestyle" as a sinful choice at an older age) but something inherent in their make up. 

 

[James Nored]

There is an article on this subject in the NY Times, entitled: Boys will be boys? Not in these families. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashion/new-challenge-for-parents... I think that letting four year olds "explore their sexuality" will be harmful to these kids.

[Wendy Scott Cayless]

James, she is being bullied in a Christian school.  This girl has not indulged in any sexual behaviour but has been victimised because of she refused to deny that she is attracted to women, not men. 

Heterosexuals with a desire to have sex with others than their mates at least DO have an avenue for the expression of their sexuality and they do have the ability to form long term loving relationships.  Do you believe that it is God's will that those with a homosexual orientation should be denied that?  That is something I am struggling with.  Giving up the booze is in a different category to giving up on intimacy and relationship.  (And I have both alcoholics and gays in my family and as friends).

[James Nored]

Wendy, I think that there may be some people that are born with more of a predisposition towards homosexuality, just like some people are born with a predisposition towards addiction to alcohol (one drink, and they are hooked). But most men are born with a predisposition to want to have sex with any good looking woman that they see. Would it then be okay for them to go ahead with their impulses? Does having an impulse justify behavior?

I am saddened to hear of any teen being mistreated. We should reach out to people with love, care, and compassion, as Bill indicates.