I Kissed Courtship Goodbye

[James Nored]

Do you remember Josh Harris' book about 15 years ago, I Kissed Dating Good-bye? Well, check out this article on "In Defense of Dating." 

 

I remember when Harris' book came out. We all understand the biblical appeal to staying sexually pure. So why not ditch dating, which usually leads to make out sessions in dark rooms or alleys, and go to "courting"?

 

I thought about my future kids. Should I try to get them to not date, but court instead? No kissing until marriage--only hand holding?

 

Now, as a father of two beautiful young girls, this sounds like a great idea.

 

But seriously. Is that realistic? I doubt it. And did I do this? No. Can I imagine going back and doing this? Man, not really. I had too many girlfriends and too many dates.

 

And I think that this may be one of those things that applies to our "holier than thou" nature, or a belief and comfort in strict rules rather than teaching and training the heart.

 

Check out Song of Solomon. If you follow the narrative, you have those who are not yet married looking forward to their marriage--and yes, even thinking about sexual things. If we are honest, is this not the natural progression of feelings as a person draws close to the wedding day?

 

We want--and should want--our teenage kids to be sexually pure and stay that way before marriage. But never even kissing or going out alone? I'm not sure that will work--though I would like it to for my girls!

 

So, what thoughts do you have on this? Should we kiss courtship goodbye?

 

[Joshua Nichols]

Yes, I agree. I think we should focus on what we want in our relationships versus what we are "kissing goodbye." We need to focus on righteousness instead of the line we don't want to cross. Thanks for your thoughts James. I think you just inspired my next entry. I'll get to working on it.